Reflections of a Life time

Current Mood - Still, Numb, I don't give a damn, Let me the freak alone, Irritated.................!
Current Colour - Black
Current Companion - I, me & myself
Currently Reading - Russia's War - Richard Overy
Currently Listening to - Brothers in Arms - Dire Straits


Finally, after a long long search, I've found a number that I identify my life with.....the mood, the music, the pace, the pain, the swings, the numbness, the loneliness, the battles, the rage, the fear, the alarm, the differences, the highs, the lows, the hurting, the trials................life itself..............

These mist covered mountains
Are a home now for me
But my home is the lowlands
And always will be
Some day you'll return to
Your valleys and your farms
And you'll no longer burn
To be brothers in arms

Through these fields of destruction
Baptism of fire
I've witnessed your suffering
As the battles raged higher
And though they did hurt me so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me
My brothers in arms

There's so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

Now the sun's gone to hell
And the moon's riding high
Let me bid you farewell
Every man has to die
But it's written in the starlight
And every line on your palm
We're fools to make war
On our brothers in arms

Vijay, Mr Negi, thanks much for this masterpiece.

A Change of Seasons

Its the last month of what was indeed a very faced paced 365 days that many of us have come to know. 2006 is fast becoming history!
The cold winter grip is beginning to envelope Delhi as is the case with many winter facing terrains.
Barely a month to go for the new year to be ushered in, the mood of festivity and change is already beginning to set in fast.
For most of us, rather all of us, this is a time to reflect back upon how the passing year went by, during the course of which we faced challenging moments and postive moments with mixed fervour and unmatched enthusiasm. And yet once again, we stand with open minds to usher in a new beginning, one we hope would better the ones that have gone by and bring about a sense of well being and feel-good which all of us could most certainly use without second thoughts.

2006, the year of the Ockton (Eight, as I call it, due to the sum of the first and the last digits), was indeed one which brought about a huge change to my life as it would have with many others too.
I saw myself consolidating life in a distant city whose cultures and means still remain unknown to me. For starters, I rid myself of the nasty health concerns that had kept me worried for over a decade. I basked at the fortune of having travelled to places such as Manali, Rohtang, Shimla & so on. I thoroughy cursed the seemingly never ending Delhi summers and power failures like never before (yet). I fought many battles, big and small and coasted through the days with the objective of perhaps not just making it there as much as I wanted to survive the tsunami-propotioned tidal waves that rocked my life during the year. For all the changes that have slowly settled as standard part of accessories of my life, I welcomed the change in my role at work with open arms. To date, it remains to be one of the many significant acheievements that a simple living entity such as I can conjure up to add as a supposed accolade that can at one point of time, perhaps in the very distant future, be remembered and reaccounted to posterity if there come any!

Among all, the number of people that I now know in life has multiplied atleast two fold. The good Lord, it seems, has allowed me to venture out to meet fellow human beings in multitudinal proportions all instances which have been wonderful and truly memorable.
With time I have gained a very small essence of the much needed perspective that has helped me shape better thoughts, ideas and concepts that govern daily life. Via the exercise of making friends, good ones always and all ways, I know not who to thank for the wonderful gifts that friends have always been. My greatest asset till date and forever would remain people! for it is people who have helped me shape my attitude, personality, nomenclature, dna structure and a whole slew of other things (not that all of these traits have reflected the best of my packages at all times.)

With time, I now feel the confidence to assume any responsible role and address what is required of that role is expected to deliver. I have learned quality, patience, sensbility and a whole lot of other things that constitute to making a good human being. I have understood that life is best always in contrasts and not in uniformity and predicted suppositions! I have reconciled to the fact that despite however much superiority we think we wield, we yet form only an insignificant portion of creation itself! I have known and understood that not everything happens for a reason, somethings happen because they just happen. One should only focus on doing what one needs to do and stop bludgeoning the mind with expectations that are unreal! I have known that peace is a state of mind that has to be incucated from within rather than believing that it is an element that can be programmed into the system. I have also understood that people are different in their own rights and mannerisms and that rights and wrongs are quite relative indeed.

And, as time gives way to another New Year, I find myself lost.........lost in thought, not in anticipation, no longer seeking hope or comfort from any or all the sources that I have hitherto sought.......................for I know, no matter what, strength comes from within..............and no other source, no matter however strong or 'omnipresent' can give that to you..............

Folks...................Compliments of the Season