It's 21st August 2006, a year and a half have passed since I joined GE.
A huge milestone packed with various experiences all of which have in some form or the other greatly contributed to reform my person!
Over the last year and a half, I have set my foot on many different places, many of which I had longed to go for years now. I've seen how it is to work for a conglomerate multinational in its most grassroots levels. I've been on the table and under the knife thrice.
I've matured with each passing day, striving constantly to become something better than the usual!
F-316 JVT which was my abode for more than about a year now stands 'former' home and in my quest for merging with nature and becoming one with the self, I now stay at a place called Mayfield Gardens which many regard as the back of beyond. The welcome sight of peacocks straying in a brushed yard not too far from where I stay continues to thrill me as ever.
Kappu has moved to Pune assuming the role of a Manager with a very prominent BPO and Bodhi has left for Calcutta for an indefinite period of time.
Vishal Samuel has become part of the LSA team replacing Alka Shukla who has moved within Healthcare.
Rohit Goel a.k.a Randy Gold who is my former boss will soon become my next boss replacing Amrita a.k.a Amy.
Folks back home continue to do better and Deepu looks forward to re-starting his career.
Adi & VJ continue to do well and keep talking to me off and on much to my re-assurance explaining to me all the time that life will dish out some of the best opportunities provided one has the patience to wait for them!
Brij continues to be a source of some of the most amazing collections of music and films that I've ever heard or watched!
Catching up with friends have been the piece de resistance; Rahul Maroli & Rohit D'Cruz both of whom went to college with me at St.Aloysius, Mangalore (1996 - 1999) landed up at my doorstep 7 long years after I last met them!
The feeling was overwhelmingly good.
Most of all, one of the best things that happened in the very recent past was a chance telephonic conversation with my best buddy Alex ARJUN Abraham, also a friend from college!
I had for a number of stupid reasons chosen not to stay in touch with this superbly mature intellectual and avoided all his genuine efforts to connect when finally I simply lost him and could not trace him excepting a few small ocassional inputs of his whereabouts and doingwhats which in itself were very sketchy, when finally on August 20th, I got his contact number from another college buddy Jacob Vishal Abraham!
The world is a very small place, despite it's long and vast expanses that may seem excruciatingly huge and far.
It was a feeling like never before to call on someone whom I had not spoken to in 7 years, let alone meeting up. Much as usual and to my expectation, it hardly took a few seconds for Alex to recognize me and our 36 odd minute chat was very similar to how we would talk when in college.
It seems that the more things change, the more they remain the same.
Ani (Ramakrishnan) & Vinu have gotten married. Many more seem to be waiting to get themselves into the knotting game.
My own self seems largely 'sobered' due to extensive amounts of self-introspection and (uncalled for) analysis at all times. I spend most of my days at work and during the weekends remain glued to books, televison and music which interest me more than many things that I used to do. I do not mean to convey that I have come of age, but merely wish to illustrate a phase in life which many of us experience at one point of time or the other.
Change is a very important part of life and only change remains the one thing that is permanent. Whatever so one may be, or aspires to become, change is the one aspect that will continue to be an inevitably permanent part of life.
Change is good provided it yields positive vibes and outlook. Change is important so that life stays in sync with with the passage of time. And time is nature's way of not letting everything happen all at once.
A large part of the year is over and while most of the country and the world are preparing to welcome the winters, Delhi continues to reel under the extreme heat combined with disgusting humidity and hot winds.
In short, a huge number of things have changed.
But, I am still expectant of a lot of good things to happen. Life has for sometime been very numb, devoid of activity and goodies! I sometimes wonder as to how many more long years do I need to wait for some basic things in life to happen. I'm tired of constant efforts being matched with no results. My levels of motivation have slurred down phenomenally and I now seem to lack the vision to go forward.
For the first time in years, I now feel, I do not possess the zeal to fight my way forward.
I'm extremely disturbed at the fact of being a nobody.
Obscurity and nothingness which have been the pillars of my 'thoughtcentral' suddenly seem to be relating to my everyday life in a very imposing manner.
It's much like being in a dark wet alley without knowing where to head.
Life has become dark and dingy and I painfully fake a smile trying to appear calm and unperturbed.
Everyday living has been rendered a very painful and depressing chore.
My inner self is contantly in pain and I see no immediate solution.
I know not what to believe or trust for every path that I walk through is one form of deception or the other.
27 years have been a while too long and dreary now.
Some of my friends & folks reassure me (with great effort) that changes are imperative and that some of the best things are yet to happen.
But then, have I not been hearing them for years now?
My questions to the man above.................
Where are you now? Where have you been? Are you there at all?