Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Schematics of a w[o]andering mind

Lost, astray, but still in motion,
forever curbed with inaction,
and amidst certain confusion,
hard, it is to find inspiration.

An atom of thought,
which rises with doubt,
will cause many a belief to flout,
that very scheme it chose to support.

Lost in silence amid a million words,
with choice none, but to play the chords,
a boy listens the drumbeats of his mind,
which is akin to the passing wind.

Oh Creator, what have ye made
of this soul, that is already slate?
I try to take shape, of the present
but shape, is that thing, I most resent

Footnotes:

Inspired by; आखरी अलविदा, Aakhri Alvida (Last Goodbye), Strings, 2006

48 comments:

  1. Great work Rakesh..
    i loved the final paragraph very much.."shape is that thing i most resent" it was very deep...it has a lot of dimensions..something like the zen people say "finger pointing to the moon..."
    like getting filled in a bottle..it was like the principle behind the element of water...
    take care
    wishes..
    mip

    updated mine too..

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  2. Sincere thanks for this nice piece of poetry!

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  3. The last stanza is a clincher! I like the way you build it up, the movement, the emotion, the imagery! Good job! You've got a flair for articulating the intangible too.. :)
    Very impressive!

    (If I may? Last line, should it/could it, read...)

    but shape, in that thing, I most resent

    :) Just W[o]andering.. :) :) :)

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  4. In a deep poetic introspection, Rak?

    reading your poetry for first time....
    You should be writing more :-)

    "the boy listens .....passing wind" -- if he can listen that he is to be a poet :-)

    Good post Rak!
    devika

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  5. I enjoyed reading this poem..
    I need to read it more...to "digest" it to be able to comment it.. but I will.
    Have a good day.

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  6. great work...
    simple..and to the point..

    came to this blog to read your old post on jonathan livingston seagull..a link that Usha gave to me..really liked your blog

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  7. MIP

    Thanks very much for these wonderful comments!

    Quite true, as you said, this can be related to the water taking shape of the container that it occupies thereby limiting itself to a domain / form!

    What perhaps matters most is substance without form, such as the universe itself, for it has not form and yet sustains us and perhaps many many more civilizations ;)

    Just a thought!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  8. Humanobserver!

    Thanks very much

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  9. Peter

    Thanks very much for your very kind comments! Greatly appreciate them!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  10. Michele

    Thanks very much for your comments
    Appreciate it!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  11. Usha

    Thanks so very much for your wonderful, appreciating comments!

    My intent in the last line is to convey a sense of resent to taking up shape, for taking shape limits oneself, much like how the water becomes the bottle after a bottle is filled!

    Hence, I found "but shape, is that thing, I most resent" most apt!

    Thanks!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  12. Devika Ma'am

    Thanks very much for lauding the poet in me! It was on the evening of Nov 6th (after a long while), that I made an attempt to pen some poetic lines!

    Fortunately, it has been well received! ;)

    I will write more often!

    Thanks very much!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  13. Hi Marie

    I am glad you enjoyed reading it! Do please come back at leisure, spend time and send me your comments!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  14. Praveen

    Welcome here! I'm glad that you visited my space and left me a very appreciating comment!
    Thanks very much

    Do keep coming!

    Warm Regards

    Rakesh

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  15. i know Rak...
    if not me, who?

    btw, November 6 is today...lost a sense of TIME??

    No, Rak -- Time is the real master..do not miss it :-)
    an write more and more and more...
    those touching life and humanity...

    and post it! :-)

    wishes!
    devika

    thank you for that comment at mine..and being there early :-)

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  16. Devika Ma'am

    Ooops! I meant Nov 4rth! Thanks for catching that! I seem to have been so lost in thought that I mistyped the date!

    Thanks very much!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  17. Vibu, my friend...

    Thanks very much for the appreciating comment!

    I guess I'm a poet in the making! This one happened on the evening of Nov 4rth, while I took a break from work and decided to listen to Strings' Aakhri Alvida!

    ;)

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  18. thought provoking...good writing...

    Scribblers Inc.

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  19. Anjali (Silverine)

    Thanks much! ;)
    Hope I can reply to the tag on Monday, next!

    I've left a comment in that regard on your space!

    Thanks once again!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  20. Scribbler

    Thanks very much for an appreciating comment!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

    PS: I did run thru 'writing' but will be back for a thorough read

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  21. Nice piece of deeep thought. Its really good!

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  22. Very well written Rakesh!

    **I try to take shape, of the present
    but shape, is that thing, I most resent

    loved that! I can identify with that feeling...


    Keshi.

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  23. Hi Rak,

    hope you don't mind me talking with my dear Keshi here...

    Keshi, taking shape in life is not always our choice...things fall upon us, forcing us to take and retain the shape...

    give life a free flow, you will understand...free flowing is not always about talking freedom or choosing things our way, Keshi...

    leave your life to destiny..and see it giving you a shape -- its the most worthy experience to have...but that doesn't necessarily mean denying others their due...

    infact it is about giving each their due..and you are just left with nothing.

    to me life means that...

    just a senior friend, who happened to chance upon a truthful soul named Keshi -- in which the former saw a bit of herself..

    love you Keshi, and Rak, always
    devika

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  24. //Lost in silence amid a million words,
    with choice none, but to play the chords//

    deep man deep...
    keep on writing mate...
    i loved this one...

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  25. Well Written!
    Grooming a new talent I see.
    Good luck!
    :)

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  26. hey, nice one!
    sometimes confusion is nice.
    i guess you have to be lost to be found.
    i've never believed in destiny, but i think you're not talking about that. even if you are i guess i can interpret it in my own way :)

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  27. Hi Rakesh,

    Good one.
    Had fun,
    Reading it.
    It's a hit!

    Cheers,
    Salil

    PS : Sorry for my silly attempt at poetry. That was my best though!

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  28. Hi Rak!

    stop w[o]anedring and bring up a good post Rak...

    ente kutta, this looks like stale food on the table ..clear it off..

    wishes!
    devika

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  29. You have been tagged :

    http://vimalsparadise.blogspot.com/2008/11/quirky-me.html

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  30. Rakesh

    Many thanks for your comments! Appreciate it!

    Good luck for your upcoming exams!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  31. Verbivorehere

    Welcome here! Thanks for your visit and also for the appreciating comments!

    Do keep coming!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  32. Keshi

    Thanks very much for the comments! Appreciate it!

    I wrote these lines in a deeply introspective state, while listening to Aakhri Alvida by Strings ;)

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  33. Devika Ma'am

    Of course yes, do please feel free and use my comment space to communicate to anyone whosoever!

    Its a pleasure to be the medium!

    And yes, your words of wisdom to Keshi are good and will help me continue my introspection as well!

    A new post is just around the corner! Minutes from now! ;)

    Thanks & Warm Regards

    Rakesh

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  34. Vicky (•♥•♥[V]♥•♥•)

    Thanks very much pal! Appreciate your comments!

    Warm Regards

    Rakesh

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  35. Vivek

    Thanks very much for your warm comments!

    Am hoping to be a poet ;) for the bliss that it brings!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  36. Thank you, Rak!

    will keep visiting -- as I take my breaks at work :-)

    wishes!
    devika

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  37. Hi Nivedita

    Welcome here! Thanks very much for coming and leaving me an appreciating comment!

    I agree when you say "sometimes confusion is nice." For, through confusion comes clarity!

    And, you are welcome to interpret in a manner that suits you!

    Do keep coming

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  38. Salil

    Good to see you! A new (SAL) avtar I presume! Thanks very much for your comments!

    Lol..... I liked that lil piece of poetry that you left me!

    It was a good attempt!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  39. Vimmuu

    Thanks very much ;) I will respond soon!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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  40. Rakesh no wonder ur verse shows so much poignance!


    Devika ty! :)

    Keshi.

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  41. w[o]andering mind!! :) I really like your blog. Neat! will make sure to keep in track.

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  42. Wo(a)ndering mind

    Welcome here and thanks very much for your warm and appreciating comments!

    Do keep coming!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

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