Thursday, August 03, 2006

Legends of the fall

This blog is a result of the inspiration (& motivation) I obtained after meeting a seemingly long lost friend. Let me introduce Dr.Tarun to you.

I first saw the movie the Legends of the Fall sometime in the year 1999 some five years after it had made it to the silver screen with an amazing star cast of Anthony Hopkins (my personal favourite), along with Julia Ormond, Brad Pitt, Aidan Quinn, Henry Thomas and Karina Lombard. This (perhaps first of a kind) screenplay epic was centered upon a Father and his family set in midtime America.

The Opening statements bowled me off my feet and mind all alike. And for all those years that have passed by with or without incident, I have from time to time sought comfort and peace from a set of words perhaps best said at the most correct moment;

Some people hear their own inner voices with great cleanness.
And they live by what they hear.
Such people become crazy, or they become legends ...

And then began a neverending quest to explore the inner self while almost parallely attempting to lead a life of a legend or a crazy soul. Almost all of us have inside a huge and largely unknown proportion of legendary craze, which is what makes each of us what we truly are. The thinking mind has always been a great source of distress and anxiety for it wraps itself on every superlative of physical and metaphysical life itself making the container of that mind wandering vividly in a eonic quest for unanswered questions and unspoken answers. A human being evolves with time and evolution is in everyone of us. What we have been before are not always what we are in the present let alone the future. And this aspect of change needs to at all times be welcomed with open arms and an open mind unless detrimental ofcourse.

So, when Tarun called me a person with repressed anger to huge proportions, I suddenly found myself thinking a lot about the past. Surprisingly, after such candid words, I still felt so much at ease talking and urging to talk more for the sense of joy in gauging a person as to how much has been perceived about me is I guess easily an instance of light year rarity and penultimate bliss.
What made me feel so easy opening up to someone I had never known? The same feeling one has when the other person seems to know the deep ends of your own personality and still remain composed and comfortable despite your misgivings whatever that might be. I had forever battled with my inner self knowing a great deal that it remains very different from the real me (or rather the seeming me being starkly different from the inner self that constitutes the person that I am). A raging battle that has continued for ages with the sole purpose of establishing my person as the way it is, which at all known times has been one of supreme difficulty and unimaginable grief despite the forever 'expected' cheerful disposition.

September (date lost in time)

Dear Mother,
l think l may have found my place in this world.
Helena is a city tumed modern ovemight.
lt's bursting with the energy and vitality of our times.
l feel alive here.

Which is what Alfred writes when he intends to marry Samuel's girl

The quest for an answer is as old as civilization itself. Life, we all believe is for a purpose, one that is dutifully and unfailingly expected to me assumed, understood, respected and realized within a certain span of time which is usually decided by the Creator himself.

The breathtaking setting in which the movie was shot along with its heavy and deep characters combined with James Horner's stunning music makes this movie a must watch at all times, happiness and sorrow alike. Then when Tarun almost suddenly blurted out along with me (in unison) that normalcy is relative, I tried hard to breath a quick sigh of relief without actually displaying any sign of emotion whatsoever. True indeed, ALL OF US, are normal in our own sense of normalcy which is hugely relative depending upon a number of external factors such as time, people, circumstances, state of mind, sense of self, ability to perceive and understand and what not. We have in us very different characteristics that define what we are and what we are not. However, these elements are subject to a number of changes at unknown points of time.
The key lies in knowing what it is that one wants, needs and loves.

l remember when he was a boy.
l thought Tristan would never live to be an old man.
l was wrong about that. l was wrong about many things.
lt was those who loved him most who died young.
He was a rock they broke themselves against, however much he tried to protect them.
But he had his honour and a long life, and he saw his children grow and raise their own families.
Tristan died in the moon of the popping trees.
He was last seen in the north country, hunting.
His grave is unmarked, but it does not matter.
He had always lived in the borderland, anyway.
Somewhere between this world and the other.
lt was a good death

Most of us, most certainly pass through what sometimes seems to be an improbable rather uncharacteristic phase, but do understand that there has not been and neither will there ever be a defined standard on how one needs to lead a life. All that is known to us that life begins and ends, the precedent and the antecedent will never be known as has the origin of life itself. What one can at best do is to live life at the best levels of consciousness of the inner and the outer selves alike and apart keeping in mind the necessity of the moment.

Tarun gave me an insight into life like never before, like none else and I thank God for that.

I still believe that some of the best things are yet to happen. This is with a deep sense of reverance for the fact that the worst is also to come and pass.

Life is now, I'm not going to have to wait for things to come. I'd rather go where I need to for what I am built for.

Human engineering someone remarked, is certainly hard-wired programming.
I beg to differ (not meaning to sound cliched), for I believe it is a lot more, a great deal more!


  1. hey. I went wow n wow for words after words. U have done magic with the language once considered to be the colonial baloney.

    KIU friend

  2. Dear LT,

    Thanks much for those fantastic words of inspiration.
    In truth, folks such as you are a tremendous source of support and encouragement.

    Thanks once again for being the wonderful person that you are