Friday, February 12, 2010

On the road to neverland

I'm on a journey, in search of something I do not know - a something, I'm not sure I will be able to find, ever! It is a quest that has long endured the vagaries of time and taken my mind to meander in the most unusual places that a thought can lead it to. It is a journey that seeks to draw a pattern of the myriad things that happen and discern the reasons for such happenstances - simply put! Hardly an easy task, I suppose.

It is quite like walking endlessly to seek what I believe are the pieces of a missing puzzle, the picture of which, sadly, is very fuzzy, yet strangely compelling. Often, I'm left with nothing more than exhaustion as a result of this chaotic pursuit that the mind is made to gallop for. Yet, on other occasions, I feel that there is an instant connect with something unknown, unexplained, however strong.

So, I'm searching for answers, much like how Wolverine aimlessly wandered in search of the account that would tell him of how his physical self came so much to border that of a mutant - terribly accidental though! Except here in real life, I do not have a fancy film-like ready reckoner to turn to and draw inklings from!

So I turn to silence, and chaos, the trees and the wind, the mountains and the water and still find little consolation in the hope of finding an answer - while also realizing that the search could well be futile and is perhaps ordained to be so! Quite a comfort in such a thought I rest with, momentarily, before the urging drive takes over again.

The night sky in all its glory, bejeweled by a billion stars, comforts me immensely, by which time I've lost all courage and determination to continue my aimlessly maddening pursuit. Undoubtedly, there is a strong connection. For as long as I'm gazing at the stars and the comforting expanse of the night sky, I feel soothed and forget that the hours of darkness will eventually give way to a bright new day - one that will see me scurrying in search for answers, I do not know what to!

And then, in the end, it's just me, by myself, on the road to neverland! 

27 comments:

  1. I would say You are about to experience the bliss of life --- Those who save themselves from the entanglements of life enjoy blss, they say :)

    We must know...We came alone, we must go alone...In between if we can bring about a few smiles around you, you are blessed....and you, you keep smiling anyway :)

    well, thats my perspective for life...

    God has his purpose imprinted on us...try "finding" it, Rak :)

    wishes,
    devika

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh it seems like I was preaching.....forgot to say Rak, nicely written :)

    wishes,
    devika

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a really a journey without an end Rakesh. I started on it long ago. Sometimes with drugs, sometimes with sheer will. I have progressed on this journey, trusting my instincts, not without dear mind you.. God knows how many layers I have peeled off but still the core, the potent me remains elusive.. But I am still in chase.. Best of luck for your chase..

    ReplyDelete
  4. *dear = fear. Sorry. Lol. Cellphone dictionary.

    ReplyDelete
  5. this feelings tells that you are lonely and you have time too to think for it .god has made every individual coated with greed,passion , hatred and......and we r running arround. the moment we stop ,########### we start to think for the cause why r we are in the world?.thats the way that leads to mokshya .

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Please think positive Rakesh
    I read negative thoughts
    its not good for you ......
    Try to enjoy I do it always !!!
    We all have our ups & downs.
    Life is too short for this ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. The 'answer' is often found in stillness. The river meanders, the stream gushes... but it is the ocean which collects all their secrets :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thats life my friend. :) The journey is never ending one and most of the time fruitful one :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Devika Chechi

    Thats so wonderful of you to say! And I feel truly blessed, having read your wishes!

    Indeed, it is very important to save ourselves from the entanglements of life to enjoy bliss, as you said, for that is the only path to realization of the self and thus self actualization.

    The journey, though, shall always continue until death!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

    ReplyDelete
  11. Samby

    My good friend, indeed, this is a journey that is never ending......much like you, I've been seeking assistance to walk this road and try and understand the realities of the inner self, but it sure has been very very intriguing!

    Like you said, there are many many layers that have come off, but I ain't any closer to the innermost realm and perhaps will never be, until the time comes to leave!

    Maybe thats how its supposed to be, for one to understand the self in all its glory, unto the end!

    Until then, it's miles to go before I sleep!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sleeping Beauty

    In a sense, are we all, all of us, not lonely?

    Like Devika Chechi has rightly said in her comments here, we come alone and leave alone too.........it is in the between of this that we meet who we meet and form associations, which may continue into another world, if you know what I'm speaking about!

    But yes, introspection is the surest route to attainment of Moksha.....that I do agree, emphatically!

    Thanks for your comments!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anya

    Thanks very much! I deeply appreciate this!

    However, much of this is about introspection and a search, like I said, for something that I do not know!

    Maybe it is not right to squander such a lot of time for this, without any purpose behind it, for as you rightly said, life is too short for obstructions of any kind!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

    ReplyDelete
  14. Justdoodleit

    Wow! Thats an awesome statement indeed! And I can relate to it very well!

    Thanks so much for making absolute sense!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

    ReplyDelete
  15. Aditya

    Indeed, life is a never ending journey and something I do believe in, is to be happy always for happiness, much like life, is a manner of travelling, not a destination to arrive at.

    Cheers

    Rakesh

    ReplyDelete
  16. living is all about chasing goals.. u gain one u go for another..

    ReplyDelete
  17. Sourish

    Quite right buddy. One leads to another and another and another!

    It's a vicious circle

    Rakesh

    ReplyDelete
  18. Keep living this journey rakesh coz however fuzzy the picture is ..the fact is that there is a picture there...you got to wait and I am sure it will be a beautiful one!!!


    SHahid

    ReplyDelete
  19. Shahid

    I will dude.....hoping always that the picture completes eventually ..... For hope is all that I have!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

    ReplyDelete
  20. There is really something deep about the night sky - it reminds us of how insignificant we are but yet makes us believe in our importance! Its been a while since I gazed at the night sky. You must consider yourself lucky for having been able to do so!! :)

    Destination Infinity

    ReplyDelete
  21. DI

    Yessir! There sure is something about the night sky and I feel very very strongly connected to it!

    To me, its the expansive window of peace and tranquility to the answers that I seek

    Cheers

    Rakesh

    ReplyDelete
  22. I realize that sometimes the search for answers does not always end the way we want to.

    Sometime its just the need of changing the viewpoint which helps then thinking about the why, what's and if's.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I realize that sometimes the search for answers does not always end the way we want to.

    Sometime its just the need of changing the viewpoint which helps then thinking about the why, what's and if's.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I realize that sometimes the search for answers does not always end the way we want to.

    Sometime its just the need of changing the viewpoint which helps then thinking about the why, what's and if's.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Survivor

    Yes, the mind surely is evolving from what is was to what it is to what is desires to be, and this is an ongoing stage and hence the answers keep coming always!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

    ReplyDelete
  26. Beautiful and interesting post. I am sure there will be lot of questions for which answers are not there. But for most of them the nature has answers.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Rajesh

    Thanks so much!

    Yes, as you said, many questions will never have answers and for the ones that do, nature is the best source!

    Cheers

    Rakesh

    ReplyDelete