I'm on a journey, in search of something I do not know - a something, I'm not sure I will be able to find, ever! It is a quest that has long endured the vagaries of time and taken my mind to meander in the most unusual places that a thought can lead it to. It is a journey that seeks to draw a pattern of the myriad things that happen and discern the reasons for such happenstances - simply put! Hardly an easy task, I suppose.
It is quite like walking endlessly to seek what I believe are the pieces of a missing puzzle, the picture of which, sadly, is very fuzzy, yet strangely compelling. Often, I'm left with nothing more than exhaustion as a result of this chaotic pursuit that the mind is made to gallop for. Yet, on other occasions, I feel that there is an instant connect with something unknown, unexplained, however strong.
So, I'm searching for answers, much like how Wolverine aimlessly wandered in search of the account that would tell him of how his physical self came so much to border that of a mutant - terribly accidental though! Except here in real life, I do not have a fancy film-like ready reckoner to turn to and draw inklings from!
So I turn to silence, and chaos, the trees and the wind, the mountains and the water and still find little consolation in the hope of finding an answer - while also realizing that the search could well be futile and is perhaps ordained to be so! Quite a comfort in such a thought I rest with, momentarily, before the urging drive takes over again.
The night sky in all its glory, bejeweled by a billion stars, comforts me immensely, by which time I've lost all courage and determination to continue my aimlessly maddening pursuit. Undoubtedly, there is a strong connection. For as long as I'm gazing at the stars and the comforting expanse of the night sky, I feel soothed and forget that the hours of darkness will eventually give way to a bright new day - one that will see me scurrying in search for answers, I do not know what to!
And then, in the end, it's just me, by myself, on the road to neverland!